I poured an entire pot of coffee into my nalgene before i left the house, so i'm thoroughly armed. although it is now very cold. ewwy.

i had some vague notion of getting someone in town to come out to a ridiculously early breakfast with me at the Fleetwood when i finished, but i'm talking about it in the past tense because i don't think that's happening at all. perhaps, depending on when i do finish, i shall go by myself.

when i gets really late at night, or when i am fucked up i crave cigarettes. i mention this because i crave cigarettes right now. but not much, honest.

i just ordered a cell phone. i've totally sold out. now i have to wait eagerly for it to arrive. except mostly shamefully. its not even like i converse on the telephone very much. ever. but no, the convenience! the privacy! the having a reliable phone number! the being able to call people and harrass them to come to the fleetwood at 5am with me! many possibilities indeed. i got screwed just last weekend as a matter of fact, by virtue of not having reliable telephone. screwed out of good old fashioned hangin' out.

i've been talking to various people in the house, asking what i should get pierced, because i clearly need to pierce something, it's been 2 1/2 years. and i finally hit gold. I asked megan and she got excited. we're going to get together a piercing/tatoo expotition and go mutilate our bodies! (she was like "Bethany, when you go, I'm coming with you. I haven't had anything done in what? 4 years! geez!"). i think i'm doing my tongue, and i think i'd like to get my ears done again in some fashion while i'm at it. an ear piercing for every body piercing, no? now we just have to find a good place and make appointments, or whatever.

i'm going home this weekend and i'm looking forward to it. i totally miss my parents, i haven't seen them for what? three weeks? I'm so going to miss them when i'm in Russia. bigtime. I won't even really be able to call them much, what with international calling and all. i totally totally love my family.

hey. to stop and break down the 4th wall for a moment. if you read my diary, thanks. i like the feeling that i'm actually talking to someone. don't hesitate to leave me notes or send me mail. i like it. i try to respond (those to whom i haven't responded, i'm working on it) thoughtfully and not just 'hey you signed my book, thanks!' but actually respond to something. but anyway, i like to talk to people and i like to think about things, and i will probably like talking to You.

okay, sorry about that. i'll leave it now and try never to mention it again, because for some reason i feel pretty weird with the direct adress to anonymous theoretical people. yeah. it's okay to be anonymous too. no problems there.

alright. i'm gonna finish this paper now, honest. and maybe even get a couple hours of sleep tonight. its amazing to me that i'm not sick yet. .