I also like the name "Modest" as in the composer Modest Mussorgsky.

I think i've been dreaming a lot lately. I don't normally remember dreams, and this is becoming confusing for me. The edges of vision are blurring. Dream and Memory are melding together. But really, what was the difference to begin with?

I'm about ready to throw in the proverbial towel. I would like my epitaph to read "Language was not her strong point."

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half the time I feel like I'm on some great cusp, the world tilting impossibly up and up behind me, and I'll tumble down. I guess that I'm just not guaranteed to find anything at the bottom. Maybe I'll just keep falling.

in my dreams I always hit the ground.

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but I am beginning to feel some of the subtleties. there're words I can no longer translate, phrases that I want to use that are more meaningful in Russian. This is a good sign, right?

there is so much lying that I do because its easier than explaining or telling the truth. I don't think this is a part of my character that needs reinforcment.

love is just a matter of circumstance.

in the end, i want to be able to say "No Regrets," and not be lying. In the end I want to know the difference between lies and the truth.