It was almost impossible to get myself to come back to ann arbor on Friday and finish my moving stuff. but i did. And i got almost everything from the house into the van and then went and blocked everyone in the co-op parking lot in and started unloading again. I'm on the first floor, so i didn't have to carry everything back up three flights of stairs or something.

As I was unloading some random guy walking down the street offered to help. His name was Neil, and that was fuck-of cool. This is how the world should be: people offering to help when it is clearly needed.

I went back to the house and got the last few bits and pieces that i had forgotten and gave john my key. Eileen was in his room to. I didn't say anything to either of them. I'm such a baby. But. Well, forget the justifications. They hurt me a lot and i'm still suffering and dealing and getting over and etc. So if being childish is one of my coping techniques, so be it.

I went back to lansing early on Saturday and helped take the cats to the vet (Tennyson totally flipped out, which is strange, because she's usually pretty calm and its Kali that has a fit. She was hyperventilating a bunch and crying constantly and etc.) And then just hung out around my parent's house a little. I went underwear shopping with my mom and we undecorated the christmas tree and I baked bread and worked on my coat some.

It was so hard to leave. I cried. Luckily there wasn't anyone home at that point - my parents went out on a date and i said goodbye before they left.

Being social feels like such a strain right now.

I put on my boots to go out this morning and found my Dad's ring in the one. I claimed it years ago, and started wearing it again recently. I must have stuck it in there some evening while i was at home. It helps a little to be wearing it.

my roomate's plane gets in right about now, and i suppose i should be around when she comes in. Of course, she has to get back from Detroit as well.

ih.